My DM is Mean
by yasha-fire-starter
Summary: Jade is a HalfElf, living in a mainly Human city, as the apprentice to the Arch Mage.  All is well and dandy until she is ordered to pick up a mysterious box for her teacher. rating may change


**Hello its just your favorite author Yasha-Fire-Starter (not really but one can hope) with another awesome story. This time just D&D style. I must warn any die hard D&D fans that I am such a newbie to this. I only started D&D-ing because my friends forced me, but I also thought it was a great story. I share it with you now almost exactly as I played. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer:** I (insert author here) do not own Dungeons and Dragons. GAWD I don't even own the basic story. The DM made it up.

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****Day 1 **

Jade was quietly sleeping. Streams of light played on her face and dark brown hair. Her face had a peaceful smile, and behind those shifting eyelids you would have seen the brightest green eyes known to the human world. She also had two streaks of blond in her hair that framed either side of her face. It was quite a peaceful scene, until the Arch Mage walked in… oh and did I mention his extremely annoying raven that followed him _everywhere_.

The Arch Mage came over to the side of the bed. He shook his head and sighed. "Archimedes go wake her up."

The raven flew to Jade's bed. "Wake up, wake up," the thing cawed. But Jade merely groaned and rolled onto her back. The Raven hopped on to her forehead and pecked her twice.

"Ow," she complained. Her eyes opened to face a very large bird hanging right over her face. She blew in it's face and it flew back to the old man (Arch Mage) with a disgruntled "humpf". She sat up and rubbed her eyes. The direct sun hurt; she was more of a night person.

"Well now that you've decided to wake up, I'll meet you in the library in five minutes. I expect you dressed in proper mage attire." He gave her a stern look and walked out the doorway with Archimedes on his shoulder.

As soon as her brain caught up with the situation, she jumped out of bed. "Shit," she mutter under her breath. Lightning fast she put on all her gear and collected her staff. She paused only a moment to grab her mage robe and Loki out of her corner. Loki was her snake familiar, also her dearest friend. They could communicate telepathically and were linked in almost every way. If Jade was happy so was Loki and if Jade died Loki would lie dead beside her, but right now she wasn't in danger of dieing just a painful beating if she didn't hurry to the library.

She took the tower steps two at a time while finishing the last buttons on her robe. Loki was a comfortable lump on Jade's shoulders underneath the robe. She scurried through the archway just as the Arch Mage was replacing one of the books from the many massive shelves. She approached with hast, hoping to god she was on time. If she had to clean the entire towers laundry again….

Traditionally, one of the lesser mages were supposed to walk forward with downcast eyes as a sign of respect, but Jade had known the Arch Mage forever, well ever since her father decided that living with humans was too uncivilized and went back to his elf home town. Yes, she did have Elf blood in her, but the other half was human, from her mother. The Arch Mage was more of her father now, but soon she wouldn't need a father. Why? Jade was 21 and almost done with her apprenticeship. Soon she would be allowed to live her own life, however that maybe.

"I have a mission for you today," the old man said.

"Awe great." When Jade was younger she used to think 'mission' meant 'adventure'; now she knew it meant more like 'chore'.

"I have a parcel I need you to pick up at the locksmith's. Bring this parcel back to me. GO straight there and come right back. Do not deviate, and DO NOT look in the package! Archimedes will show you the way." The bird immediately flew out the window. She didn't have time for any smart remarks or she would lose the dumb bird, so she flashed him a dirty look, and ran out the archway and down the hall to the main entrance. She found the bird sitting on a bush right outside the grounds. It watched her pant to try and catch her breathe. She glared at the raven then preceded to take her mage rob off and throw it in the bushes.

She hated the mage robes; they were too baggy. Underneath she had a corset and flares on. The pants laced up on either side. She had her staff strapped to her back and dagger at her hip. 'Ready,' she spoke to Loki still draped around her neck. Loki flicked her tongue contently. Archimedes took off into the air and Jade plodded behind her.

She carefully weaved through the streets of Yevauld. Every time Jade would start to lag behind the bird would call back with "Follow. Follow." Eventually they went into a strange alleyway. At the end there was a brick wall. There was no windows just a door, and even that didn't have a handle. Archimedes land on a pile of rubbish beside, said wall.

"You must knock on the door," it squawked. Someday I'm going to let Loki eat that bird, Jade thought. "Knock, knock."

She hesitated a second to look behind to see if she was being followed, but she was the only humanoid in sight. She knocked loudly on the door. "Who is it," said a deep voice from behind the door.

"My name is Jade," she answered. "I was sent from the Arch Mage to pick up a package." After that there was only silence.

After a minute or so Archimedes chimed in, "Locksmith let her in she really was sent by the Arch Mage."

"Fine," he answered back. The door swung inward. Inside was a table and on the table was a wooden crate about one foot by one foot. She couldn't tell what was inside. The room was lit only by a small fire which left most of the room dark. Jade didn't see the owner of the deep male voice, but she didn't try very hard. She just wanted to grab the box and go.

Once outside she took a deep breath and walked purposely toward the exit of the alley. Archimedes flew down beside her. "You know the way back, I'll meet you at the mage tower. Don't be late." She took a moment to watch the bird fly off. She was glad that he was gone. She might be able to have a peaceful walk home, now, without the annoying 'bird-brain'.

Loki tensed on Jade's shoulders. Through their link Jade could tell Loki was nervous. Suddenly, three thugs walked out in front of the alleyway. They were all rough looking and carried wooden bludgeons. They stalked closer tapping their weapons in their hands. One spoke up. "Hey girly, you look too young to be hav'n such'a package," he said in a sly and almost hungry voice. "Why don't you hand that there box o'er to us; will take it off y'ur hands."

"Kiss my ass," Jade replied.

The thugs laughed as they circled her. Two stood ready to cut off her exit out of the alley and one stood behind her. The first one came up and swung his bludgeon at her chest. She dodged, but he managed to rap her knee pretty hard. Her knee stung piteously but Jade ignored it. Then thug number two charged, but he trip on a bit of garbage and land hard on his chest. It knocked the wind out of him.

Jade saw her chance. The Arch Mage always told her that when being attacked strike back without mercy. And she did. Her dagger struck mercilessly into the man's neck. It hit the jugular and blood spewed onto both the ground and onto her. Thug-two's face was permanently etched out in shock. She jumped back, sadly without her dagger, but jade didn't give the first thug a chance to recover form the shock, of the death of his comrade. She dropped the wooden box down between her feet and slapped her hands together. In the span of seconds she created the great the symbols in Draconic with her hands to summon her newest magical attack, Magic Missile. Two missiles of orange light erupted from her hands and struck into the last thug standing between her and the exit. The missiles disappeared but left a set of huge burns across the thugs body. Thug one was dead before his smoking body hit the ground.

Sadly, she had no time to celebrate her latest victory because the third and final thug came up behind her and smashed the back of her head hard with his _weapon_. Jade's vision faded as she fell to the ground. The last thing she knew was the clunking of boots running away form her direction.

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**Woop! there it is. R&R. Also, if there are any huge mistakes that make you want to jump off a second story window just send me a private message (preferably with the correction) and I'll try and change it. Thx**


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